Joy? Fun?

July 26th, 2010

I just read an article about parenting in the New York Times: All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting. It got me a little weepy (but then, lots of stuff does that when I have a baby in the house.)  It’s a well-written and well-researched article, and I don’t have anything really interesting to add.  But I want to go on record now with the resolution that I *will* enjoy my years as a parent.  And I mean, right now, not just in retrospect.

It’s actually easy for me to be vibrantly happy with Alden, just as it was with Rosy when she was a baby.  I don’t just love the transcendant joy of his smiles and giggles, I love the whole lifestyle of nursing and wearing him and sleeping with him and soothing him when he cries–and taking life slow.  But I’m not going to lie, the constant arguments that come with a preschooler (Rosy is not a toddler any more) can wear me down.  I don’t like conflict and drama, and I don’t like to be in control of someone else.  Ha.  The books (yes I read a lot of books) suggest that a zen, non-attachment (take that Dr. Sears) method of parenting is possible, that I can leave the drama and conflict to her and not partake of it.  That I can give her the gift of self-discipline through reasonable choices and reasonable consequences, that I can make her happy and self-confident by letting her know how much she is loved.  And I *do* believe in all this stuff, I do think I can be a good parent this way.  But day-to-day, it still feels like all I do is make thousands of very insignificant decisions and then fight for them with my life and sanity.

So today, I’m going to focus on playing with her and having fun.  Because sometimes, it *is* fun and today is going to be one of those days.

Summertime Jingle Bells (with Monkey)

July 21st, 2010

Rosy knows *all* the Christmas Carols.  Even now, in July, she gets out the songbook and we sing them together.  I mean, she knows multiple verses.  Here is a solo act:

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Recipe: Tofu stir fry

July 20th, 2010

This meal is probably in more frequent rotation that any other in our house.  It’s healthy, vegetarian, uses up a lot of produce, and it takes 30 minutes start to finish, (assuming I managed to put the rice in our slow rice cooker earlier in the day.)  And honestly it’s delicious.

Serves two hungry adults plus a kid.

Ingredients:

  • 1 block of firm tofu
  • peanut oil (or some other kind but unrefined peanut is best
  • shiitake mushrooms (you can make it without them, but why?)
  • a bunch of different vegetables including at least one green
  • a shallot or two, finely chopped
  • some garlic (optional), finely chopped
  • a tablespoon or two (or three) of fresh (or frozen) ginger, grated
  • soy sauce
  • vinegar
  • white wine or mirin or some kind of stock
  • sriracha hot sauce (“rooster”)
  • sugar
  • a little cornstarch

1. Press the tofu.  Split the block in half horizontally so you have two rectangles about 3/4 of an inch thick.  Put them on a pan over a paper towel, put another paper towel on top and another pan, weighted with a few cans or something.  Set aside.

2. Chop your vegetables however you like them.  You want them all ready to go when it’s time to cook because it doesn’t take long.

3. Fry the tofu.  After ten minutes it’s pressed enough.  (Sometimes I only give it five minutes, but up to 20 is OK.)  Chop it in cubes.  Heat some peanut oil in a (very) nonstick pan over medium high heat.  When it’s hot, add the tofu and then pour a tablespoon or two of soy sauce over it.  Stir with a spatula until it’s coated, then let it cook, turning every few minutes.  Try not to let the tofu stick to the pan.  When the liquid is all evaporated and the tofu is golden on most sides of each cube, turn off the heat.

Stir-fried tofu

4. While the tofu is cooking, start cooking the other vegetables.  In a large saute pan or wok, heat some peanut oil on high or medium high heat.  Add the mushrooms and toss to coat with oil.  Stir only every few minutes, until they are nicely seared and delicious but not dry.  Add the rest of your vegetables in order of cooking time: this can take some practice.  In my experience, green beans take way longer to cook than you think, add them first.  Carrots and zucchini and broccoli are next,  then turnips or radishes because you want them to stay kind of crisp, then the greens (bok choy or chard or even kale, especially the curly kind) are last.

5. While the vegetables cook, mix the shallots and ginger in a bowl with some peanut oil.  If I’m feeling kind, I don’t add garlic, because it can upset Nathan’s stomach.  If I’m feeling spicy, I add a clove or two.  When the vegetables are almost done but not quite, add the tofu to the pan and stir.  Then push everything to the sides of the pad, and spoon the shallot mixture into the middle.  It will fry up in the oil and smell delicious–stir it around.  After a minute or two of cooking, mix everything together.

6. IMPORTANT: if you have a kid who doesn’t like spicy food, now’s the time to take our her portion.

7. Make the sauce and add it.  (Really you should have made the sauce in a spare moment earlier, so now you can just dump it on.)  In a bowl, put aboutt 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1/3 cup vinegar (I use red wine, but rice is fine too or whatever), 1/3 cup white wine or mirin or stock, 1 tablespoon sugar, half a teaspoon of corn starch, and some squirts of sriracha to taste.  Mix it up and dump on the hot stir fry, stir around for a second or two, turn off the heat and serve over brown rice.

I recommend that the first few times you make this, you get everything all prepared before you start cooking (the sauce made, the shallot mixture prepared, etc.)  Otherwise you will be totally stressed at the end when things start happening fast.  When I first started making this, the kitchenwould look like a bomb went off in it after I was done, and I was so frazzled and stressed about getting things right at the last minute that I ate half my bowl in about twenty seconds.  But practice makes perfect I guess.  Now it only looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen.

Two graduations for Rosy

July 16th, 2010

Rosy’s first drop-off preschool ended in June.  Enchanted Garden was a sweet little Waldorf program for two and three year olds, in Jacqueline Houston’s home and run solely by her.  She went two mornings a week.  I’s mostly play-based, although they made bread once a week on Thursdays and had some other project on Fridays.  After a bit of a rough patch early on, Rosy seemed to enjoy it pretty well.  I liked it too, the environment and the teacher and the other kids, and I felt really good about sending her there.

But I was a little surprised to get her “report card” at the end–it mostly said she lives in her own world, and doesn’t listen at all.  Now, I can easily believe that she does her own thing instead of always participating in what the other kids are doing.  That’s just her personality, she observes before she acts.  But she does listen.  In fact, for a two year old she is a *great* listener.  Why would she ignore Jacqueline?  I still don’t know.  Maybe the environment was too chaotic so she withdrew.  Maybe it’s a pattern that got set when she started (she was barely two) and never changed.  Anyway, it made me glad she going to a Montessori based program next year where she’ll have a lot of individual attention; I think it will suit her personality to a T.

Rosy in the Enchanted Garden

Her other “graduation” was from her first real gymnastics class: i.e., the first class I didn’t have to attend with her.  She had Coach Tara at the Seattle Gymnastics Academy and she is just wonderful.  At first Rosalind was a little nervous about leaving me but soon enough she was completely comfortable, and what a kick it was to watch from the bleachers as she did her little girl things without me!  This class is how I know she’s really a good listener, not just from her interactions with me (but she does listen to me, too.)  Her wide, serious eyes as she gazed intently at her coach were plain to see.

Straddle bat hang

Hello, 2010

July 14th, 2010

I abandoned my blog a good long time ago, but here’s an attempt to revitalize it!  So far I have: remembered my passwords, upgraded the software, and got rid of my spam comment problem.  Do I have anything interesting to communicate?  Only time will tell.

My plan, though, is to have weekly posts on various topics.  Here’s what I’m thinking to start:

Monday: Family Day.
What we’ve been up to, news about our lives.

Wednesday: Grandparent Day.
Photos or video or stories about the kids.  Probably totally boring to everyone else.

Friday: Recipe Day.
Something I’ve made in the last week, and it can’t be a recipe I’m copying from somewhere else, either.

Sunday: Outside World Day (optional.)
If I have anything interesting to say that’s NOT about the kids or what I’m cooking for them, here’s where it will go.  Chances are slim.